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My Rival

I go to concert, party, ball--
What profit is in these?
I sit alone against the wall
And strive to look at ease.

The incense that is mine by right
They burn before her shrine;
And that's because I'm seventeen
And She is forty-nine.

I cannot check my girlish blush,
My color comes and goes;
I redden to my finger-tips,
And sometimes to my nose.

But She is white where white should be,
And red where red should shine.
The blush that flies at seventeen
Is fixed at forty-nine.

I wish I had Her constant cheek;
I wish that I could sing
All sorts of funny little songs,
Not quite the proper thing.

I'm very gauche and very shy,
Her jokes aren't in my line;
And, worst of all, I'm seventeen
While She is forty-nine.

The young men come, the young men go
Each pink and white and neat,
She's older than their mothers, but
They grovel at Her feet.

They walk beside Her 'rickshaw wheels--
None ever walk by mine;
And that's because I'm seventeen
And She is forty-nine.

She rides with half a dozen men,
(She calls them "boys" and "mashers")
I trot along the Mall alone;
My prettiest frocks and sashes
Don't help to fill my programme-card,
And vainly I repine
From ten to two A.M. Ah me!
Would I were forty-nine!

She calls me "darling," "pet," and "dear,"
And "sweet retiring maid."
I'm always at the back, I know,
She puts me in the shade.

She introduces me to men,
"Cast" lovers, I opine,
For sixty takes to seventeen,
Nineteen to forty-nine.

But even She must older grow
And end Her dancing days,
She can't go on forever so
At concerts, balls and plays.

One ray of priceless hope I see
Before my footsteps shine;
Just think, that She'll be eighty-one
When I am forty-nine.

Rudyard Kipling
mme_rediska: (Default)

Stolen from [ profile] weret_hekau

image )

Украдено. Потому как удержаться не было никакой возможности.

mme_rediska: (Default)
Очень полезный отрывочек для настроения "никто меня не любит".

Я инвалид - ножка болит.
Солнышко скроется, муравейник закроется,
как я домой попаду?
Через полчаса упадет роса.
Через час отсырею, через два заболею -
глядишь к утру и вовсе помру.
mme_rediska: (Default)
On Monday the work ... )
mme_rediska: (Default)
В понедельник на работе ...  )
mme_rediska: (Default)
Happy New Year, everyone!

С Новым Годом, всех!
mme_rediska: (Default)
December 2004
I'm living in a Boston suburb with my husband and our two sons. Nice big house in the middle of nowhere - at least by my standards. But it's a good place for kids. I work as a senior software engineer in Boston. Kids go to schools. I learned to bake cupcakes. I love my job. I love my family. I hold big extended family dinners. I miss my friends, who all seem to have moved away somewhere. I'm driving an old Volvo station wagon and I love it too. Things settled down. Stuff I did in the last 15 years is paying off. What am I doing to get another payoff in another 15 years?

December 1994
I'm living in an apartment in Medford, MA, USA with my husband of two years. I'm still giddy in love. I'm driving my first new car - a Nissan Stanza. It's a four-door. I'm not planning on having kids any time soon, but just in case. I just got my first real programming job and in the evenings I'm still working on the masters in CS. He's starting a business. We meet at night at home and go out for drinks at 1 am. I'm thrilled with my life. I'm going somewhere. I have great friends. I'm an adult. I'm neglecting my depressed mother. I miss my father. I need freedom.

December 1984
Odessa, Ukraine. Second year in college. I'm living at home with parents. New Year is soon. Preparations at school full tilt. My boyfriend is in the army, so I've got nothing better to do anyway. I think we did one of those "through the ages" shows - stone age, Roman empire (togas!), Middle Ages, the Jetson-esque future. Standard format, standard jokes, standard parodied songs. Better than just going to classes, anyway. Second year was probably the least fun one in my college carreer, almost boring. I don't even have any musical associations with it. I'm not quite a child anymore, but not by any means an adult. I'm remarkably immature and I like it that way.

December 1974
Not much here. Second grade. My teacher's name is Tamara Il'inichna. I don't remember her last name. She's small and pretty much round, with a noticeable mustache. I'm a straight A student, the best in reading. I havent discovered math yet. Or anything else for that matter. I don't even remember who my best friend was at the time. That was after Albina left, but way before I became friends with Jeanna or even Irina. Odd. I didn't have a best friend? Oh, wait - that must've been my cousin! There must've been a recital in the music school but I have absolutely no recollection, not even the dread...
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I have a new haircut! Well, it's a few days old, but still new! I'm so excited I can hardly keep from very undignified squealing. I haven't had a good haircut in years - I don't even remember how many! Considering my phobia of hairdressers I also have a new love - his name is James and he is a scissors and comb deity!

Read more... )

Of course it doesn't hurt any that James has wonderfully expressive eyes and is not at all annoying. So, in yet another nudge towards "suburban housefrau" stereotype, I now have a crush on my hairdresser! And it's been something like 4 days already!
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Happy birthday, [personal profile] eleanor!

Shrek 2

Jun. 15th, 2004 01:25 pm
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It's not the first time I take my kid to the movies, but suddenly this time it wasn't me taking him. It was us going to a movie. This is amazing.

Well, strictly speaking the movie can certainly wait until video, and
yet I'm glad I saw it in theatre. First - this allowed me to actually sit there and watch it without interruptions. Second - I think this sort of thing should be encouraged - real actors voicing the characters.

Though I expected more from Banderas. Not much of a character. Not his fault, I admit, but, well - I expected more from a latin-accented cross of Puss in the Boots and Zorro.

It was fun to occasionally imagine the actors as their respective
characters. Jennifer Saunders is an amasing witch. She'd be better live than the animation. And Rupert Everett does a wonderful arrogant idiot. I loved him in "The ideal husband". I never could resist a wisecracking arrogant bastard with a deadpan delivery. Ah, Oscar Wilde.

Plus they did close with "Living la vida loca". I think I want the soundtrack now.

Oh, and we stayed and saw the surprise bonus bit after the titles. Cute. Very cute.
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As of yesterday, I've been married for 12 years. That's longer than any
other single thing I've done in my life...


Jun. 9th, 2004 10:35 am
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Cape is second half of July - 17-31. I'm planning to take some days off to spend there - though I don't really want to. I'd rather have some peace at home while they're all there. There will be 3 or 4 days that I get to work and go home and NOTHING else! I'm so looking forward to it!

I'm making plans to go out with women from work, with K., with anyone who's still talking to me after all these years - and that ain't a big pool. Go out and come home whenever I feel like it! Can you imagine that? Nobody to report to. Nobody waiting. Do whatever the hell I like and not tell anybody where I am. Not that I'm likely to do anything more outrageous that a drink with coworkers or a trip to a store. But my normal life is so not conducive to it - it's not even funny.

I'm so pathetic. Clinging baby monkeys. Two were climbing on my shoulders to get out of water, and the third I had to chase or it would drown. And I'm a lousy swimmer even at best of times...
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I had such a long day yesterday. On Sunday night we brought P. to our place and went to Home Depot without kids (!).

Then, instead of goint out to eat, we got takeout sushi and ran home to spend more time with the zoo. Then everybody had an awful night - we pretty much didn't sleep since 1am - they took turns waking up, having bad dreams and generally being difficult.

Then G. and I got up at 4 and I took him to the airport. Fortunately we didn't need to wake up that early - we were already awake.

From there I went to my mom and tried to sleep a little more with intermittent success. Then to the minor doctor appointment at St.Elizabeth by 8am, 3 hours or so in the waiting rooms, and to work by 11:30.

When I got home about 7:30 I was close to hallucinating. Took P. to the bus, ate the leftover sushi with the kids (their favorite is the cucumber roll), did some puzzles, put the zoo to bed and passed out.

I dreamt that G. and I are going on a cruise, and he did all the packing. I had to beg the captian to wait for him, then he showed up with 4 pillows in the suitcase, but no shoes. And then I had to swim to the ship, rescuing cute baby monkeys on the way... An analyst could have a field day with that one. Control issues, much?

P.S. Baby monkeys are exceedingly cute.
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It's spring. I don't care if it snows - it's spring. There are daffodils, and it's been raining for DAYS last week, and we've changed the clocks, and it's sunny even when it's snowing, and spring fever has struck even the unwilling with the desire to redecorate. And therefore it's SPRING.

And anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Unless in Southern hemisphere, in which case it's fall, which is nice too. But not as nice as spring. Which is what we have here.

This has been your friendly reminder. You can now change the batteries in your smoke detectors - it won't do you any good, because it's SPRING, and smoke detectors are stupid about such things. They think it is all about ionisation and suspended particles.
mme_rediska: (Default)
The funniest thing is - I still badly need a haircut. Only now I'm pretending that I'm growing my hair.

Incidentally, is that anything like "I'm drying the paint?"


Nov. 13th, 2003 02:28 pm
mme_rediska: (Default)
Just because I like New York and don't have a vampire fetish?

Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker writes you, you wonderfully urbane,
witty boozehound, you.

Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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In a mall in the middle of nowhere, NJ, there's a store. Fashion Footware I beleive. So I have a black, long, rather shiny high heels from Aerosoles. $39.99 and I'm thrilled to bits. I've wanted long boots for years, but with my high arches it's not easy to find something that fits. They're a bit dressy, and I love them. Now I want the same in a less dressy version - lower heel, thicker tops.

In that same mall (which is where I spent the whole Sunday, for reasons not related to shopping) there's a Borders store. And yes, they sell zils at Borders. In nice little boxes alongside sushi mats, wineglass markers and other yuppie parafernalia. There's even a tiny booklet with instructions for a hip drop and head slide. Boggles the mind, really. So now I have zils. Not the nicest quality, but who cares? Not I.
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We did go to NJ after all. And it was fun - I feel like I had a vacation. Which I did. From responsibilities. I also have new boots and a set of zils! Not bad for a NJ trip I think.
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What's so funny? It *is* quite beautiful. As I was driving past Fresh Pond there were gusts of wind twirling bright yellow leaves and sparkling rain in a beautiful dance across the road.

Perhaps it's not a nice weather for a stroll, though even that is doubtful. But it's certainly beautiful. I'd love to see a painting of that swirl across the road. I'd paint it myself if I knew how. And the autumn light is almost always lovely.

The only problem with fall here, as far as I'm concerned, is the fact that it's immediately followed by a New England winter. The problem with which is the fact that it's about 2 months too long.

So far all I need to do to avoid utter climate-induced misery is to imagine that December will be immediately followed by March. And then we can have one extra month of May and one of September to keep the stars aligned properly. I think it's a very reasonable approach.
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